More of You

It is hard. It is difficult. To "let go, and let God" is realllllyyyy reaaalllly not easy. I know for me personally, I want what I want. When I want it. And how I want it. Sometimes, it is really hard for me to say "God, not what I want, but what YOU have for me"....because I have a plan in mind. To me, it makes all the sense in the world. And sometimes, it may be a good thing! Why should it not work for me?? This past year, I had the wonderful blessing of being part of CYT/STP's production of "Sleeping Beauty". The princess, "Joli", wanted her way, all the time, no matter what. Things were not going pretty for her--UNTIL she fully surrendered her life, her everything to Jesse (Jesus!). God has been showing me how much I can relate relate to Joli! I think I know what's best...because it makes sense in my thinking. God is so loving, despite all my sin and brokenness He saved me! Lately, He has been convicting me more and more that I really, truly, absolutely need HIM! He is showing me that He is all I will ever need is His love for me....and when I say "God, this is what I want, but I give this matter to You. Show me what Your will is" (it is reallly very hard sometimes!!) He gives such a peace and such a joy. The joy of knowing that it is in His hands! This hymn comes to mind "Take my life and let it be; consecrated Lord to thee. Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise!" When we tell God that, it is then that He can use us. He makes the blind to see, and the lame to walk. He makes the broken to be beautiful vessels for Him. For sure, I am very far from perfect.No doubt about that whatsoever. But when we say, more of YOU, and less of me.....the most amazing things happen!!

 {Lord, make me tender to things of You;
  and create in me a heart that is soft
   towards things that are true.

 There is one thing I ask from above,
  that You would give me a desire
  to love what You love,
  and hate what what you don't admire.

 Jesus, make me a shining light,
 and create in me a heart of patience
 to daily bear my cross and plight,
 as You bore much more for my deliverance .}

Thank You Jesus <3

He Hits The Restart!

It's not what we do that matters, but what a sovereign God chooses to do through us. God doesn't want our success; He wants us. —Charles Colson

Wow. That is powerfully true. Sometimes it's easy to feel like we always need to do 

things to measure up to other people, to be one step up on the ladder to feel like we 

are better than someone else. Or maybe because we want to be known for our 

successful doings so the world can love us....But that's not what God wants at all! He 

wants US. It's that simple. He wants us to surrender all to Him! And when 

we do,everything else will fall in place. I know I myself am guilty of not fully surrendering 

certain aspects of my life to Jesus, just because I think I can figure things out on my own. 

I am sorry to say that sometimes I do think I can do things on my own  

without anyone's help...but Jesus, so merciful and so loving is there to convict me and 

show me of my pride and my absolute need to let Him take over. In other words, "Jesus 

take the wheel! Take it from my hands, because I can't do it on my own." :) Truly though, 

when we do let Jesus take the wheel, all those little things we thought were issues 

and couldn't figure out on our own, just fallinto place perfectly. He gives us such a joy as  never before. He wants us to want nothing but Him...because He  is the One who satisfies us fully! One of my very favorite songs states this perfectly:  
Make me broken
So I can be healed
'Cause I'm so calloused
And now I can't feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken

'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

        

It's true...Jesus does want us to be broken. Broken to see how much we are sinners and how much we so need Him. He showed me His love and mercy. He loved me even when I was unlovable. That's how amazing our God is.....He turns everything around in our lives!  He hits the restart!

"Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved." Psalm 62:1-2

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy." 1 Peter 1:8